Where am I?

    There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 meters of visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark.

    After an hour or so, he started running pretty low on fuel and the passengers were getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appeared and he saw a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banked the plane around, rolled down the window and shouted to the guy: “Hey, where am I?”

    To this, the solitary office worker replied: “You’re in a plane.”

    The pilot rolled up the window, executed a 275-degree turn and proceeded to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport five miles away.

    Just as the plane stopped, so did the engine as the fuel had run out.

    The passengers were amazed and one asked how he did it.

    “Simple,” replied the pilot. “I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct, but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft’s support office and from there the airport is just a while away.”

    I did

    Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily.

    His mother asked: “What’s the matter now?”

    “Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer,” said Johnny through his tears.

    “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you’re upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?”

    “I did!” sobbed Johnny.