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在线翻译:
szdaily -> In depth -> 
Concern raised over sharp increase in divorces
    2011-07-05  08:53    Shenzhen Daily

A growing number of couples born after 1970 and 1980 and married for less than five years are heading for divorce courts. The two biggest reasons for the increase are finance and parental intervention.

Wang Yuanyuan

A GROWING number of couples born after 1970 and 1980 and married for less than five years are divorcing. The two biggest reasons for the increase are finance and parental intervention.

According to statistics compiled by the Ministry of Civil Affairs recently, more than 465,000 couples had divorced during the first quarter of this year, which meant about 5,000 couples divorced every day in the first three months of this year. Among them, nearly 85 percent were aged between 22 and 35. The divorce rate in the first quarter was 14.6 percent, about 4 percent more than that in 2009 and 2010.

Shenzhen’s marriage registration department also released statistics earlier this year. More than 400 couples who divorced last year had been married for less than a year, while a court in Chongwen District in Beijing processed 369 divorces last year, 25 percent of which involved couples born after 1980.

The 1970s generation

For couples born after 1970, finance is the biggest reason for divorce.

“Many people born after 1970 are from relatively poor families. Most of their parents have less money than those born after 1980. So every one in this generation has very high hopes for their spouse and the disappointment may easily lead to divorce,” said Pei Xinyu, professor from the social science department of Zhongshan University.

Many members of this generation made their own fortunes around the ages of 30 and 35, which made some of their contemporaries feel inferior. “Some wives always ask their husbands why they could not be as rich as Ma Huateng (CEO of Tencent Inc.) or some of their self-made rich friends. They often compare their husbands with those successful ones, which can easily create problems between the couple,” said Pei.

“My best friend’s wife was like that. She is not a pretty woman and my friend makes about 1 million yuan (US$154,000) a year, but she still thinks he is not as good as those successful ones because she cannot afford luxury cars, houses, clothes and bags. She only makes 5,000 yuan a month, but is always whining. I think they will divorce sooner or later,” said a man named Liu Zhishen, who works at a foreign-owned company in Nanshan District.

Because most of their divorces are for financial reasons, many couples of this generation will divorce in court instead of breaking up amicably like those born after 1980. According to a file provided by the Guangzhou Intermediate People’s Court, 49 percent of the couples who filed lawsuits to the court were born in the 1970s, much more than those from other decades.

Other reasons for their divorce included extra-marital affairs, the woman making more money than the man, quarrelling and sexual problems.

However, divorce was still not an easy thing for this generation. “Although their ideas are quite modern and they are financially independent, they are still very traditional and think divorce is a bad thing. So most of them will think long and hard and it normally took two to three years for them to divorce,” said Pei.

The 1980s generation

Parents have played an important part in the divorces of couples born after 1980.

“This could be because most of these children are not sufficiently independent from their parents, particularly financially, so parents can still influence their lives and make decisions affecting the marriages,” said Zhong Ling, a psychologist at the city’s women’s association.

Most people of this generation were mollycoddled by their parents. The strong and close attachment to parents kept them from devoting fully to their marriage. In this case, they did not feel hurt when coming to divorce, Zhong said.

Meanwhile, this generation has already got used to being center of attention, so they were too selfish to sustain a marriage, which made the family disputes worse and worse.

Couples born after 1970 always had a lot of issues in their lives, such as saving up together to buy houses, cars and bring up children, which were healthy to the couples’ relationship on some level. “However, unlike them, most people born after 1980 already had been given all these by their parents when they got married, so their family lives fell flat sooner than the other generation. The boredom of family life made these young people lose passion quickly, so they chose to leave to look for something new when things went wrong,” said Zhong.

Unlike those born after 1970, most of these divorces were quite easy as the young couple did not have too many problems such as property distribution and custody. The major reason was that they could not live together.

Moreover, most of these couples are from one-child families and they face family issues that older generations would not have experienced. “Many young couples had problems with family affairs, such as deciding whose parents they should spend the Spring Festival with or whose parents should take care of the grandchildren. Meanwhile, many parents also put pressure on their children over these issues, which causes conflict between young couples. These problems can be too much to bear because they were brought up as the center of the family and did not have too much to worry about in their lives, so many simply gave up instead of working to save the marriage,” said Pei.

Only a few cases involved a third party.

“A lack of family responsibility, tolerance, patience and housework skills were the biggest problems for young couples today. Divorce seems pretty simple for them. Unlike older couples, most young couples are quite accepting when it comes to divorce,” said Pei.

Communication

Although many young couples are of the opinion that divorce is not a big problem, it was not the right way to deal with life’s problems because running away solves nothing, marriage expert Wang Liufeng said.

“If you cannot stand living with this person and you divorce him or her instead of working to save the marriage, you will have the same problem in a second marriage, third or even fourth marriage. It is important for young couples to find an effective solution instead of giving up and escaping every time a problem arises,” Wang said.

Wang suggested married couples communicate more and come to terms to resolve issues. “Marriage is not easy and every couple has problems. It requires the wife and husband to work together to face the problem and deal with it. Divorce should be the last resort for a couple and it is the parents’ and society’s duty to help them understand that,” he said.

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