Bitten by a vampire Patient: Doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I’ll be able to see whether your neck leaks. Lucky wife Wife: I’m so lucky! When I was taking the rubbish out, I found a new pair of shoes. I put them on and just imagine: They were exactly my size. Husband: Yes, you were lucky. What else? Wife: Yes. When I was returning home on the bus this morning, I found a new fur coat. I put it on and just imagine: It was exactly my size. Husband: Yes, you are lucky, while I am not. Just imagine: I found trunks under our pillow but they are not my size. Blood and urine tests A small boy was crying sitting on a bench outside the doctor’s clinic. Another small boy came to him and asked, “What happened?” The boy said: “I came here for my blood test and the doctor cut my finger.” Hearing this, the other boy started weeping. The first boy asked: “Why are you crying?” The boy answered: “I have come for my urine test.” |