Guess right

A guy says to his friend, “Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.”

The friend: “If I guess right, will you give me one of them?”

The guy, “If you guess right, I’ll give you both of them!”

Bitten by a vampire

Patient: Doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Drink this glass of water.

Patient: Will it make me feel better?

Doctor: No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.

Magic operation

A: Doctor, will I be able to play piano after my operation?

B: Yes, of course.

A: Great! I never could before!

Catch up

Three tomatoes are walking down the street, a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. The baby tomato is lagging behind. The poppa tomato gets mad. He goes over to the momma tomato, stamps on the ground and says: CATCH UP!

(Source: The Internet TESL Journal)