Shake the bottle

    Mom: Why are you jumping up and down?

    Tom: I’ve just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

    Get the kid

    A bit of advice for those about to retire.

    If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell, “Get the kid.”

    Sooner or later

    Mary was so disgusted at her husband’s cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.

    “I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.”

    “Don’t worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.” He said with a smile.

    A fine weapon

    “Do you sing and play much?” a young man asked the pretty girl who was carelessly thrumming the keys of the piano.

    “Only to kill time.” she replied.

    “You’ve got a fine weapon, I must admit,” replied the young man.

    (SD-Agencies)