Nervous husband

    I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his laptop with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.

    “Why are you so nervous?” I asked him.

    “The numbers are the date of our anniversary,” my husband confessed.

    Mom’s here?

    One evening I drove my husband’s car to the shopping mall.

    On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.

    When I finally entered the house, I called out. “The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.”

    My husband looked up and said: “Mom’s here?”

    Who was fighting?

    Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?

    Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.

    Mother: That’s a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?

    Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.

    Doctor’s help

    Patient: Doctor, the medicine you gave me was of great help!

    Doctor: Oh? How much do you have at a time?

    Patient: None, but my uncle had them, now I’m his only heir!