Teach a puppy

A boy goes off to college, but about one-third way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him.

Then he calls his father.

“Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders modern education is coming up with! They actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!”

“That’s amazing!” his father says. “How do I get him in that program?”

“Just send him down here with $1,000,” the boy says.

So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About two-thirds way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

“So how’s Fido doing?” the dad asks.

“Awesome, dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says. “They’ve implemented a new program to teach the animals how to READ!”

“READ!?” says his father. “What do I have to do to get him in that program?”

“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.” And the boy gets the money.

At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father is keen to see the dog.

“Where’s Fido? I can’t wait to hear him talk and listen to him read!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. This morning, Fido was in the living room reading the morning paper. Then he turned to me and asked, ‘So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?’”

The father says: “Oh, shit! I hope you shot that lying son of a bitch!”

“I sure did, dad!” (SD-Agencies)

(SD-Agencies)

Best restaurant

There were three restaurants on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said “The Best Restaurant in Town.”

The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said “The Best Restaurant in the World.”

On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said “The Best Restaurant on this Block.”(SD-Agencies)