Big head

    A boy cried to his mother: “All other children make fun of me. They say I have a big head.”

    “Do not listen to them,” his mother said. “You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy 20 pounds of potatoes.”

    “Where is the shopping bag?” the boy asked.

    “I have not got one, use your hat,” the mom said.

    Heart-to-heart talk

    Alice and Monica were having a rare heart-to-heart talk.

    “What do you consider your biggest vice?” Alice asked.

    “I do not like to admit it,” Monica said, “but my biggest vice is my vanity. Sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and just admire my face.”

    “I would not worry about it,” said Alice. “That is not vanity. That’s imagination.”

    Anniversary

    A couple go out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices tears in his eyes and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they are celebrating 50 wonderful years together.

    He replies: “No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a gun and said he would throw me in jail for 50 years if I did not marry you.”(SD-Agencies)