H2O

    An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: “Anyone knows the formula for water?”

    “Sure. That’s easy,” said one man.

    “What is it?”

    “H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.”

    “What, what?” reasked the instructor.

    “H to O,” explained the clever guy.

    Realistic painting

    At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.

    “What a great realist that painter is!” he exclaimed.

    “What painter?”

    “The one that painted this picture ‘Soldiers at Work.’”

    “Yes, but something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren’t working at all!”

    “That is the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!” the visitor said.

    Choose a punishment

    Private Loyds was brought up before the unit commanding officer for some offense.

    “You can take your choice, private — one month’s restriction or 20 day’s pay,” said the officer.

    “All right, sir,” said the bright soldier. “I’ll take the money.”