Intelligent life

    It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime.

    As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.

    He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. “Mr. President,” said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, “after 12 years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars.”

    He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, “But that’s impossible ... we could never do it ... yes, Mr. President,” and hung up the phone.

    He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. “I have some bad news,” he said, “the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars, he wants us to try to find it in Congress.”

    Sailor’s report

    After turning in from a 4 to 8 a.m. watch the seaman overslept and missed muster.

    When questioned he said: “Due to my metabolic inability to cope with change, I did not respond to external stimuli and remained in a comatose condition.” The officer, who didn’t understand a word, listened to his report with awe and sent the sailor to the psychiatrist.