Dear Santa, How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay No. 1 in the Christmas presents business. Actually, I admire the way you run Christmas. You really have a handle on it. You find out what people want, and then you make the presents and control how they are delivered. It’s an impressive operation. I think being at the North Pole helps. That was a good move. For example, when you’re designing toys, only your elves know what you’re doing, and you’re way up there where nobody can spy on you and steal your ideas. And even if they do, you can always just let it out that you’re making the same stuff to bring to people for free, so why would they buy the other guy’s stuff? What I don’t get is why you give away stuff. That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. I admit, it’s why you’re No. 1 — who could compete with a deal like that? Here’s an idea on how you can help finance your operation: Give everybody at least one present at Christmas, then you could make batteries and sell them the rest of the year. Another thing, about you coming down the chimney. That’s so slow and inefficient. And what about all the people who don’t have chimneys? Santa. I have one word for you — windows. Best of luck, Bill Gates |