Is he a somebody?

    Tom: My uncle has 500 men under him.

    Jack: He must be very important.

    Tom: Not really — he is a maintenance man in a cemetery.

    Laziest man

    A site foreman had 10 very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

    “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced.

    “Will the laziest man please put his hand up.” Nine hands went up.

    “Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man.

    “Too much trouble,” came the reply.

    Math exercise

    Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

    Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!

    Time is money

    As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, “Do you agree that ‘Time is money?’”

    “Well, it’s a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?” the driver answered.

    “Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped,” I pointed at the meter.

    “Oh, yes. You’ve got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us,” added the driver.