The perfect son

    A: I have the perfect son.

    B: Does he smoke?

    A: No, he doesn’t.

    B: Does he drink whiskey?

    A: No, he doesn’t.

    A: Does he play Warcraft?

    B: No, he doesn’t

    B: Does he ever come home late?

    A: No, he doesn’t.

    B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

    A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

    Let’s pretend we’re married

    A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a trans-continental train.

    Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

    At 1 a.m., the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet and get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

    “I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”

    “Wow! that’s a great idea!”

    “Good,” she replied. “Get your own blanket.”