Money and friends

    A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?

    B: Friends, of course.

    A: Why?

    B: I can always borrow money from friends.

    What’s the use?

    Passenger: What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?

    Train conductor: How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?

    Coincidence

    Teacher: Can anybody give an example of a coincidence?

    Student: My mother and father got married on the same day, at the same time!

    Second opinion

    Doctor: You are very sick.

    Patient: Can I get a second opinion?

    Doctor: Yes, you are very ugly too.

    It hurts!

    Man: Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.

    Doctor: What do you mean?

    Man: When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee — Ouch! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.

    Doctor: I know what’s wrong with you — you’ve broken your finger!