One ticket

    Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket.

    Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called: “Tickets, please!”

    One of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door. When it was safe, all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots’ ingenuity.

    On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time.

    Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen’s stall and called: “Ticket, Please!” When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door.

    Punctuation

    An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: “woman without her man is nothing.” The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

    The boys wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

    The girls wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”