Gone deaf

    Jim was speeding along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.

    “What’s wrong, Eric?” Jim asked.

    “Well, didn’t you know, Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?” said Eric.

    “Ah, praise God!” he replied with relief. “I thought I’d gone deaf!”

    Attracted by light

    Mike and his pregnant wife lived on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity. One night, Mikes’ wife went into labor. The local doctor was there in attendance.

    “What do you want me to do, Doctor?”

    “Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!” the doctor delivered the child and held it up for the proud father to see.

    “Mike, you’re the proud father of a fine strapping boy.”

    “Saints be praised, I...” Before Mike could finish the doctor interrupted, “Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike.”

    Soon the doctor delivered the next child. “You’ve a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter.”

    “Thanks ...”

    Again the doctor cuts in, “Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!”

    Soon the Doctor delivered a third child. The doctor held up the baby for Mike’s inspection.

    “Doctor,” asked Mike, “Do you think it’s the light that’s attracting them?”