Oysters

    A: How come oysters never donate to charity?

    B: Because they are shellfish.

    Snail in the bar

    Did you hear about the snail that walked into the bar? He was kicked out due to the policy of having no snails in the bar.

    A few months later he comes by once again and asks the bartender, “What was that for!?”

    English Channel

    A: Where is the English Channel?

    B: I’m not sure. We don’t get it on our TV.

    What’s the animal?

    The first grade class gathered around the teacher for a game of “Guess the Animal.” The first picture the teacher held up was of a cat.

    “Okay, boys and girls,” she said brightly, “can anyone tell me what this is?”

    “I know, I know, it’s a cat!” yelled a little boy.

    “Very good Teddie. Now, who knows what this animal is called?”

    “That’s a dog!” piped up the same little boy.

    “Right again. And what animal is this?” she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. Silence fell over the class. The teacher said, “I’ll give you a hint, children... it’s something your mother calls your father.”

    “I know, I know,” screamed Teddie. “It’s a nincompoop!”