Polish joke

    A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, “Hey, I got this great Polish joke...”

    The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice, “Before you go telling that joke you better know that I’m Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of my customers.”

    “Okay,” says the customer, “I’ll tell it very slowly.”

    Expertise

    A mainframe computer on which everyone in the office depended suddenly went down. They tried everything but it still wouldn’t work.

    Finally they called in a computer consultant. He arrived, looked at the computer, took out a small hammer and tapped it on the side. Instantly the computer leapt back to life. Two days later the office manager received a bill from the consultant for US$1,000. Immediately he called the consultant and exclaimed, “One thousand dollars for fixing that computer?! You were only here five minutes! I want the bill itemized!”

    The next day the new bill arrived. It read, “Tapping computer with hammer: US$1. Knowing where to tap: US$999.”

    It’s broke!

    A man goes to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads.

    The doctor rolls up his sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, doctor,” says the arm. “Could you lend me 20 bucks please? I’m desperate!”

    “Aha!” says the doctor. “I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”