I won’t go!

    Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic.

    When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back.

    A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, “Oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.”

    Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go!”

    Why bathe in milk?

    A: Why do you take baths in milk?

    B: I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower.

    All of me

    A: I was born in California.

    B: Which part?

    A: All of me.

    The way to zoo

    A: Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?

    B: No, I’m sorry I don’t.

    A: Well, it’s two blocks this way, then one block to the left.

    Decision-making

    A: Do you have trouble making decisions?

    B: Well ... yes and no.

    Helping mom

    Father: What did you do today to help your mother?

    Son: I dried the dishes.

    Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.