You need water

    A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

    The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”

    Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “My goodness, doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

    Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

    Brand new

    An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have three possible donors; tell me which one you want to use. One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died in his private plane. The third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years.”

    “I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,” said the patient.

    After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did.

    “It was easy,” the patient replied. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.”