Why worry?

    Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead.

    “Damn,” he says. “I forgot to lock the office safe before we left.”

    His partner replies, “ What are you worried about? We’re both here.”

    Compliment

    “You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

    “If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness.

    Strange

    A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer.

    “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put “here lies an honest lawyer.”

    “But that won’t let people know who it is,” protested the lawyer.

    “Certainly will,” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, ‘That’s Strange!’”