Back to School

    Summer vacation was over, and little Johnny returned to school. Two days later, his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” the mother said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you when he misbehaved!”

    God is watching

    Some children were in line for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun wrote a note and posted on the apple tray, “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

    Idiots

    “If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?” asked a sarcastic teacher.

    After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

    “Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.

    “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

    Isaac Newton

    Physics teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

    Student: “Yes, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”