Blind date

    “How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate. “Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”

    “Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?”

    “He was the original owner.”

    Golfing

    Wife: What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?

    Husband: Golfing with friends, my dear.

    Wife: What? At 2 a.m.?

    Husband: Yes, we used night clubs.

    Late

    Teacher: Why are you late?

    Webster: Because of the sign.

    Teacher: What sign?

    Webster: The one that says, “School ahead, go slow.”

    How do you spell it?

    Teacher: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”

    John: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L.

    Teacher: No, that’s wrong.

    John: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

    Why no punishment?

    Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

    John: Because George still had the axe in his hand.