Sense of humor

    A wife asked her husband, “What do you like most about me — my pretty face or my slim body?”

    He looked at her from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humor.”

    Newborn baby

    Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center are sitting on a bench under a tree. One turns to the other and says, “I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”

    The other says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”

    “Really!? Like a newborn baby!?”

    “Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”

    Changing my will

    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

    He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear perfectly.

    The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor a month later and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

    The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”