THERE are lots of great things about being in a long-term relationship: Research shows that happy couples, in many ways, have better health and overall wellbeing than their single or divorced peers. After all, a loving partner can offer companionship, comfort and physical and emotional support when you need it.

    But after years of marriage or dating, a significant other can start to feel more like a roommate than a romantic partner. Maybe you’ve grown apart, you’re busy with work and kids, or the spark’s just not there anymore. For whatever reason you’ve found yourself falling out of love, here’s how the experts suggest you find your way back in.

    Be more touchy-feely

    “Long-term couples don’t touch enough,” says Wendy Walsh, clinical psychologist. “When we touch — especially skin-to-skin — we get a little rush of the brain chemicals that help trigger those loving feelings.” Think about how often you and your partner actually share physical contact on a daily basis. If it’s just a quick peck on the lips before and after work, make an effort to step up your game, says Walsh. She cites research showing that a 20-second hug can trigger a significant oxytocin release. “Most married couples hug for three seconds or less,” she says. “So I advise them, two to three times a day, to stop what they’re doing and hold a long, calm embrace. It can change your biochemistry, and you’ll begin to bond again.”

    Pucker up

    Locking lips can play an important role in the quality of a long-term relationship, according to a 2013 study from Oxford University. In fact, researchers found that frequent kissing was even more important to relationship satisfaction than frequent sex. “A 30-second kiss gives us a warm, fuzzy, safe bonding feeling from that cuddle hormone, oxytocin,” says Bonnie Eaker Weil, relationship counselor and author of “Make Up, Don’t Break Up.” “Partners can give this feeling to each other by practicing a hug and a kiss in the morning before work and before bed at night.”

    Limit technology

    “If you haven’t put your family and your relationship on a technology diet yet, this is the year to do it,” says Walsh. “Nothing is killing communication faster right now than guys staring at their iPhones while girls are trying to talk to them at the dinner table, or vice versa.”

    Walsh recommends forming an agreement with your partner to cut out phones and television at meal times and in the bedroom, or deciding together about specific times you will and will not use technology. “Otherwise, you won’t give each other your full attention, and it’s easy to become annoyed or feel disconnected.”

    Take a vacation

    If work and family obligations have forced you and your partner to put your love life on the back burner, schedule some time off from your regular responsibilities. Getting away may help you focus on each other, but even a staycation or a long weekend at home — if you treat it right — can be enough to refresh your bond. Before you go, though, have an honest conversation about your expectations, says Alexandra Solomon, licensed clinical therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University. “It can feel unromantic to lay it out ahead of time, but it will reduce your chances of feeling disappointed if you have different goals in mind.”

    Compliment each other

    When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s easy to focus on the negative, says Walsh — which can lead to nagging, hurt feelings, and dissatisfaction on both sides. Instead, she says, try to focus more on the good things and less on the bad. “To use a garden analogy, water what you want to grow; don’t water the weeds.” Letting your partner know what you love about them — whether it’s physical, intellectual, or emotional — can actually help you see him or her in a more positive light, says Solomon.

    Say thank you

    When you fall into habits in a relationship, you may take for granted the nice things your partner routinely does for you. And even if you do notice them, do you let him or her know you’re thankful? Gratitude is important, says Walsh. “Put a note in his briefcase letting him know you appreciate that he gets the dry cleaning every week,” she says, “or touch her on the arm and thank her for bringing you Starbucks every day.”

    Incorporate surprise

    To relive the feeling of falling in love, says Eaker Weil, you’ve got to find new ways to trigger that rush of feel-good dopamine and oxytocin — like by incorporating novelty, excitement and surprise into your relationship. You may try “kidnapping” each other, she suggests, taking turns to plan secret activity. “A weekend overnight in a new place, or a vacation without children; anything with the element of surprise.” (SD-Agencies)