Lucky saucer

    In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery.

    He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. “It’s not for sale,” said the proprietor.

    “Look,” said the collector, “that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I’m eccentric. I like cats that way. I’ll raise my offer to ten dollars.”

    “It’s a deal,” said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten on the spot.

    “For that sum I’m sure you won’t mind throwing in the saucer,” said the connoisseur. “The kitten seems so happy drinking from it.”

    “I won’t do it,” said the proprietor firmly.

    “That’s my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I’ve sold 34 cats.”

    Cough syrup

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.

    The owner asks the new clerk, “What’s with the guy over there by the wall?”

    The new clerk responds, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”

    The owner, wide-eyed and excited, shouts, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with a bottle of laxative!”

    The new clerk calmly responds, “Of course you can! Look at him, he’s afraid to cough.”