Wu Guangqiang

    jw368@163.com

    THIRTY-EIGHT elderly people were killed and six others injured, two seriously, after a fire broke out in a rest home in Central China’s Henan Province on May 25. The aged people who were supposed to spend their remaining years in comfort at the nursing home ended up losing their lives there.

    The fire reminded me of another fatal blaze at a rest home in Hailun City, Heilongjiang Province, on the morning of July 26, 2013. A resident, who had had trouble with another resident, set fire to the building, killing 11 elderly people — including himself.

    The blazes at homes for the aged, coupled with a host of negative reports and rumors about the horrible treatment the elderly residents receive at nursing homes, have dissuaded people who might consider spending their graying years in assisted living facilities.

    Of course, there are many well-run rest homes nationwide. Despite the sweet name of “home,” rest homes are typically the last place an elderly person would consider moving into voluntarily in China. According to a number of surveys conducted by different institutions, only about 20 percent of the respondents expressed a willingness to stay in a nursing facility.

    Major factors that prevent the aged from using a rest home include: First, the 1,000-year-old tradition of supporting aged parents at home. Children are often disdained as unfilial if they choose to send their parents to a rest home, particularly in rural areas.

    Second, for most retired people living on a mediocre pension, it is beyond their means to stay in a rest home. Some quality facilities do offer satisfactory equipment and services, but their charges keep most pensioners at bay, especially most rural elderly people without a fixed income.

    Third, most Chinese elderly can’t stand the loneliness of living in a unit of a nursing home. Chinese enjoy “renao,” or “the lively atmosphere of many people gathering together.” The sweeping popularity of square dancing among elderly people is a good example of renao.

    Reluctant as they may be, more and more Chinese elderly people are having to look into retirement homes when they can no longer take care of themselves. With the roaring number of aged people and the shrinking number of offspring, it’s increasingly unlikely that most Chinese families will be able to keep all of their elderly relatives at home.

    In my own family, my mother is now 99 and still in good shape. Over the years, both of my elder sisters and my elder brother have shouldered the burden of looking after her. As the only child who lives away from my mom, I can’t do anything more than hire a nurse for her and visit her every Spring Festival.

    God bless my mom, who is soon turning 100 years old. But her longevity has brought more worries than joys for us children.

    My brother is 73, an elderly man who himself needs attention, and my sisters are now 66 and 64 years old. None of them are young and energetic anymore — all of them suffer from various illnesses. Their increasing ages and declining strength have considerably reduced their attention to our mother. In addition, they all have their own families to take care of.

    As a result, my mom is left to the care of a nurse most of the time, but this is not an ideal solution. She is often difficult toward the nurse, partly in protest of our decreasing filial attention and partly out of psychological problems that commonly plague senior citizens.

    Her constant screaming and yelling have scared away many nurses, including some great ones. Now we are in a dilemma. Keeping mom at home is getting harder and harder, but sending her to a rest home is barely possible because few will accept a centenarian like her.

    The more I talk about my mom’s problem, the heavier my heart gets because her predicament will soon be my brother and sisters’ and mine. My mother had four children to share the burden of caring for her — my siblings and I each only have one child to care for us and our spouses and their own in-laws. It will be impossible to count on them to look after us.

    Personally, I hope to move into a quality nursing home when I become bed-bound. But will I be able to find one?

    (The author is an English tutor and freelance writer.)