How smart are you?

    A man had an old boat, which he used to ferry people across the river. One day, he was taking a university professor to the other side.

    “What is seven times seven?” asked the professor.

    “I don’t know,” answered the man.

    “Well, how do you spell ‘elephant?’” asked the professor.

    “I have no idea,” replied the man.

    “Didn’t you study anything at school?” demanded the professor, surprised.

    “No,” said the man.

    “Then you have wasted half your life,” said the professor.

    The man was silent for a little while. Then he said, “Can you swim?”

    “No,” said the professor.

    “Then you have wasted all of your life. We are sinking.”

    The last chicken

    A butcher who had had a particularly good day proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. “That will be US$6.35,” he told the customer.

    “That’s a good price, but it really is a little too small,” said the woman. “Don’t you have anything larger?”

    Hesitating, but thinking fast, the butcher returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. “This one,” he said faintly, “will be US$6.65.”

    The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. “I know what,” she said, “I’ll take both of them!”