The general’s dog

    It was a dark, stormy night. The soldier was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A general took his dog for a walk. The nervous young private jumped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out, “Sir, good evening, sir!”

    The general, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said, “Good evening soldier. Nice night, isn’t it?”

    Well, it wasn’t a nice night, but the private wasn’t going to disagree with, so he saluted again and replied, “Sir, yes, sir!”

    The general continued, “You know, there’s something about a stormy night that I find soothing. It’s really relaxing. Don’t you agree?” The private didn’t agree, but then the private was just a private, and responded, “Sir, yes, sir!”

    The general, pointing at the dog, “This is a golden retriever, the best type of dog to train.” The private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said, “Sir, yes, sir!”

    The general continued, “I got this dog for my wife.”

    The private simply said, “Good trade, sir!”

    Do women talk more?

    A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talk too much. Recently he proudly told his wife he’d heard that men use 2,200 words a day, while women use 4,400.

    The wife pondered that a moment, then concluded, “That’s because women have to repeat everything they say to their husbands.”

    He looked up and asked, “Come again?”