A cute dog

    A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

    The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”

    The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch,” he says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

    The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog.”

    Phone call

    A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

    “Wow,” said her father. “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”

    “Wrong number,” replied the girl.

    Doctor jokes

    Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.

    Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

    Patient: Doctor, you’ve got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.

    Doctor: Next, please.

    School jokes

    A mother says to her daughter, “Did you enjoy your first at school?”

    The daughter answers, “First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?”

    Teacher: What’s the past participle of the verb “to ring?”

    Student: What do you think, sir?

    Teacher: I don’t think. I KNOW.

    Student: I don’t think I know either, sir.