Blood flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, “Now, students, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run to it, and I would turn red in the face.”

    “Yes, sir,” the boys said.

    “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

    A little fellow shouted, “’It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”

    Vow of silence

    A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery. The head monk said, “You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years.”

    The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, “What are your two words?”

    “Food cold!” the man replied.

    Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said “What are your two words?”

    “Robe dirty!” the man exclaimed.

    Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, “What are your two words?”

    “I quit!” said the man. “Well,” the head monk replied, “I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!”

    100-dollar bill

    A: Why are you late?

    B: There was a man who lost a 100-dollar bill.

    A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?

    B: No, I was standing on it.