A job change

    A taxi passenger touched the driver on the shoulder to ask something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath and stopped just inches from a shop.

    The driver said, “Don’t ever do that again, you scared me.”

    The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize a little touch would scare you so much.”

    The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not your fault. It’s my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a van carrying dead bodies for the last 25 years.”

    Life after death

    Boss: Do you believe in life after death?

    Employee: Certainly not! There’s no proof of it.

    Boss: Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral, he came here looking for you.

    Spectacular job

    One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a genie appeared.

    “I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said.

    The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job — a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”

    “Poof!” said the genie. “You are a housewife.”