Unfinished joke

    Someone told a joke, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

    “And that woman was my mother”

    A man tried to tell the joke to his wife who was preparing dinner. He said, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

    Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, he finally blurted out, “And I can’t remember who she was!”

    Salesman

    A new vacuum salesman knocked on the door. A tall lady answered it.

    Before she could speak, the salesman barged into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet.

    The salesman said, “Madam, if I couldn’t clean this up with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I’ll eat all this shit!”

    The lady said, “Do you need chili sauce or ketchup with that?”

    The salesman was surprised, “ Yes, madam?”

    The woman said, “Because there’s no electricity in the house now.”