Budget

    In an accounting class, the instructor was talking about budgets.

    Teacher: What is a budget?

    Johnny: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

    Why not punish him?

    Teacher: George chopped down his father’s tree and admitted doing it. Do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

    Johnny: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

    Returned

    Doctor: The check which you gave me has been returned.

    Patient: The headache for which you gave me medicine has also returned!

    In demand

    Employee: I want a raise. I am in demand and have two companies running after me!

    Boss: I am really impressed but which companies are they?

    Employee: The electricity company and the mobile operator!

    Sign outside a repair shop

    We can repair anything. ... Please knock hard on the door, because the bell doesn’t work!