Q: What do you call the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?

A: Prime mates.

Q: Why is “beef stew” not a good computer password?

A: It’s not stroganoff.

Q: Why can’t you trust math teachers who use graph paper?

A: They’re always plotting something.

Q: Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

A: To make ends meat.

Q: What do you call friends who love math?

A: algebros.

Feelings hurt

Mary was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.

“Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked.

“Yes,” Mary said. “They hurt my feelings.”