We cannot do without communicating with other people in work or life. Avoiding the following mistakes can make our conversations easier and more efficient.

1. Assuming that nobody wants to talk to you

If you’re shy, I get it. But you’re not the only one. If you’re fretting about seeming confident or “natural,” you’re missing the point: Stop thinking about yourself. Instead, think of reaching out as an act of service.

2. Interrupting or intruding upon an existing conversation

Timing is everything. If you see two or more people vigorously engaged in conversation, they’re probably not ready for you to barge in.

First, wait for a lull. Then once you have someone’s attention and, ideally, receive a non-verbal go-ahead, that’s your chance.

3. Start talking without having something to say

If someone appears distant or lost in thought, moving into their personal space and mumbling “hey” is hardly an icebreaker.

Try asking permission (e.g., “Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you something?”) and make sure you have a fully formed question or comment in mind (e.g., “Are you having a good time?” ).

It’s all about creating a comfortable opportunity for the other person to respond.

4. Controversial topics

If you’re talking to someone new, it’s generally best not to talk about weighty, off-putting or polarizing topics.

For starters, aim for something simple and close at hand that you and the other person can observe together. Maybe it’s the music you both are hearing, or the food you’re tasting.

5. Being hard to follow

Once you’ve made a connection with each other, keep that connection going by making yourself easy to understand.

If you speak different languages, for example, slow your speech and enunciate clearly. If they ask you what you do for work, answer in a way that doesn’t take five minutes or deploy a lot of workplace jargon.

6. Talking too much about yourself or the other person

It’s often said that people love to talk about themselves, and that asking questions is the secret ingredient to good conversations. But that’s not true for everyone.

Nobody likes to feel interrogated, so if you sense that questions aren’t welcome, back off.

Words to Learn 相关词汇

【烦恼】 fánnǎo fret be constantly or visibly worried or anxious

【间歇】jiànxiē lull a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity

不管是工作还是生活，都离不开沟通交流。在与人对话时注意避免以下7个错误，可以让交谈变得更加轻松自如高效。

假设没人愿意和你交谈

如果你害羞，可以理解。但你不是唯一一个害羞的人。如果你为表面上的自信或 “自然”而烦恼，那你就搞错了重点：停止考虑自己的感受。相反，把与人交流看作是一种服务。

打断或干扰正在进行的对话

时机决定一切。如果你看到两个或两个以上的人聊得正嗨，他们可能还没有准备好让你插嘴。

首先，等待一个对话间歇。然后，一旦你吸引了某人的注意力，理想情况下，得到对方的示意，这就是你的机会。

开启对话时无话可聊

如果有人显得疏远或出神了，可以走进他们的私人空间，小声说嘿很难打破僵局。

试着征求许可（例如，“对不起，你介意我问你一些事情吗？”）并确保你脑子里有一个完整的提问或评论（例如，“你玩得开心吗？”）。

这一切都是为了给对方创造一个舒适的回应机会。

提出有争议的话题

如果你在和一个刚认识的人对话，一般最好不要谈论沉重、令人不快或两极分化的话题。

在初期阶段，寻找一些你和别人可以聊到一起的简单而贴近生活的话题。也许是你们都听的音乐或品尝的食物。

说话让人难以理解

一旦你已经与人开始交流，要让自己的话通俗易懂，将沟通继续下去。

例如，跨语言交流时放慢你的语速，发音清晰。如果有人询问你的工作，回答不要花上五分钟，也不要使用太多职场术语。

一味谈论自己或他人

大家常说，人们喜欢谈论自己，提出问题是良好沟通的秘诀。但并非所有人都是这样。

没有人喜欢被审问，所以如果你觉得问题不讨喜，就此打住。(chinadaily.com.cn)