Hunters

There were three guys stranded in the mountains and they weren't going to be rescued for three days. So they made a plan that each night one would get some food.

The first night the first guy went out and came back with a big deer. So the guy who was to hunt the next day asked for advice on how to catch another one. The guy said: "You see tracks, follow tracks, BAM!! shot the deer..." The next night the second guy went out and came back with an even bigger deer. The third guy was amazed. He asked how he could catch one like that for the next night. The guy told him: "You see tracks, follow tracks, BAM!! shot the deer..."

The next night the third guy went out to get a deer. He came back hours later all beat up and bloody. The other two guys asked what happened. The guy said: "I saw tracks, followed tracks, BAM!! got hit by a train."

Run!

Two hunters are in the woods in deer season. The morning hunt over, they head back to camp together. As they make their way along the path, they hear a loud crashing noise and look up to see a very large bear charging down a hillside.

Realizing simultaneously, that they are the bear's intended targets, not to mention lunch, one of the hunters immediately takes off his back pack, drops to the ground and begins to change from his hunting boots to tennis shoes.

The other hunter bewildered asks: "You don't really think you can out run that bear do you?" The first hunter replies: "No, but I can outrun you."