Space mission

    Paddy the Earthling: We put a man on the moon in 1969.

    Paddy the Martian: Big deal! We’re going to send a team to the sun.

    Paddy the Earthling: You’re mad! They’ll be burned up before they even get close.

    Paddy the Martian: We’re not that stupid! We’re sending them up at night!

    Can you pass a football

    The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team.

    “Can you tackle?” asked the coach.

    “Watch this,” said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.

    “Wow,” said the coach.

    “I’m impressed. Can you run?”

    “Of course I can run,” said the freshman.

    He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.

    “Great!” enthused the coach. “But can you pass a football?”

    The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. “Well, sir,” he said, “if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.”