Insurance proceeds

    A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.

    The lawyer replied: “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”

    The doctor replied: “Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds.”

    The lawyer looked puzzled. “Gee,” he said. “How did you start the flood?”

    Good news

    Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.

    Client: Well, give me the bad news first.

    Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene.

    Client: Oh no! I’m ruined! What’s the good news?

    Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!