Dear fellow students:

    Today I would like to share my experience and comments regarding peer relations, which are considerably challenging. If you can deal with peer relations, you can create a favorable social environment in which you are comfortable and, therefore, perform to the best of your ability.

    As a boarder, you spend 24 hours a day with your peers within the enclosed school gates. Unavoidably, sometimes there are arguments. Try to stay calm, reason with your peer. Never use violence and, especially, inappropriate language.

    It usually works out well if you can persuade other people to be the judges of the situation and to help you settle a dispute in an amicable way.

    After an argument is settled, do not drag the problem on with continuous references back to the incident. Such an attitude does not help you restore your relationship with that peer, turning yourself into quite a nuisance.

    I would particularly like to mention peer pressure in a teenage environment. By this I am referring to actions such as smoking, which is extensively abused by teenagers across the United Kingdom. A large percentage of teenagers in high school are smokers. Recent statistics show smoking rates are even higher for girls.

    Even though school regulations clearly state that smoking is prohibited, there will inevitably be a number of smokers which the school administration cannot control.

    The issue of students smoking has been of huge concern even for the U.K. government. If you are in a situation when a smoker offers you a cigarette, it is not an obligation to do so. Just politely decline the offer and you can get yourself out of this sticky situation. As long as you are firm with your position, nobody is going to force you to take a cigarette.

    If you notice misbehavior, such as smoking or cheating in an exam, it may be a surprise but you are not advised to turn your peer in to the school administration; otherwise, you are regarded as a betrayer to your schoolmates.

    Despite my advice being somewhat politically incorrect, in my opinion, it is necessary for you to survive well in a boarding environment. Of course, the seriousness of a problem will be based on your own value judgments.

    At a boarding school you will find the ability to judge independently flourishing by the time you leave school. So, if you think a peer going through a really hard time, inform the school if you feel it’s for their benefit, but make sure that the school administration keeps your report absolutely confidential.

    Yours fondly,

    Susan M B Chen

    Year 13 student at Downe House School