Learn it by listening Two cowboys came upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stopped and said to the other: “You see that Indian?” “Yeah,” said the other cowboy. “Look,” said the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.” Just then the Indian looked up. “Covered wagon,” he said, “about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon.” “Incredible!” said the cowboy to his friend. “This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!” The Indian looked up and said: “Ran over me about half an hour ago.” Don’t talk to the parrot Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher stopped working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment. She had to go to work, and told him: “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rottweiler inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also have a parrot. Whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!” Well, sure enough, the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman. But the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and drove him nuts. As he was ready to leave, he couldn’t resist saying: “You stupid bird, why don’t you shut up!” To which the bird replied: “Killer, get him!!!” |