The theorist knows best

    The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist’s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment.

    “Hmmm,” says the theorist. “That’s exactly where you’d expect to see that peak. Here’s the reason (long logical explanation follows).”

    In the middle of it, the experimentalist says “Wait a minute,” studies the chart for a second, and says: “Oops, this is upside down.” He fixes it.

    “Hmmm,” says the theorist, “you’d expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here’s the reason...”

    Mathematician sees a fire

    If an engineer walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it on the fire and puts it out.

    If a physicist walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it carefully around the fire and lets the fire put itself out.

    If a mathematician walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he convinces himself there is a solution and leaves.

    Holes for cats

    A physicist had two cats, one big and one small, and he loved them very much.

    But when the door was closed the cats couldn’t enter or exit the room.

    So he ordered two holes to be made in his door: one big for the big cat, and one small for the small cat.