The same pair

A policeman came to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe. His boss started to yell at him: "You are ruining police reputation, go home and change the shoes."

The policeman went home, and came back after a while, still wearing a black shoe and a white shoe.

"Boss, I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too."

Who will take the money

"Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spot a hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money?"

"I don't know."

"The stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don't exist."

Uphill, downhill

On a narrow mountain road a man sees a police car driving uphill backwards.

"Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards?" he asks.

"Because we are not sure that we will find a place to make a u-turn on the top of the mountain."

After one hour the same man sees the same police car driving downhill backwards again.

"But guys, why are you driving backwards again?"

"We found a place to make a u-turn up there."

Eats shoots and leaves

A panda walks into a bar, goes right to the counter, grabs a sandwich and after having eaten it he takes a gun out of his pocket and shoots the bartender. Then, as though nothing had happened, he walks out. Everyone in the bar is sitting all speechless and petrified but suddenly someone breaks the silence:

"What a hell was that?!?"

Comes a sorrowful voice:

"It was a panda."

"What's a panda?"

"Perhaps you don't know what a panda is... It's a mammal that eats, shoots, and leaves."