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在线翻译:
szdaily -> Fun -> 
Jokes of the Week
    2011-09-21  08:53    Shenzhen Daily

I can go home

One day after school, the teacher said to his students: "Tomorrow morning, I will permit the student who can answer my first question to go home early."

The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked: "Who did it? Please stand up!" "It's me," said Bob. "Now, I can go home. Good-bye, sir."

 

In the supermarket

A man approached a gorgeous woman in a supermarket and asked: "You know, I've lost my wife somewhere.Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?" she asks.

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Bedtime prayers

Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please, God," she said. "Make Naples the capital of Italy. ."

Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

Julie replied: "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

A good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She sells candy."

Poor handwriting

In the lobby of a post office, an old woman came up to a young man, asking him politely. "Would you please help me write down the address on the postcard?"

"Sure, Madam."

"Thank you so much,"said the old lady. "Do you mind adding a few words to it," she asked again.

"Of course." The man did as she told, smiling indulgently. "Any other thing I can do for you?"

"Well," said the old woman. "Could you please add one more sentence at the end? Please forgive my poor handwriting."

Lucky mother

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.

Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said: "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam."

Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly: "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"

Good dog

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning: "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the newspapers every morning." Her husband replies: "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded: "But we've never subscribed to any!."

To the movie

A man is driving down the road with 20 penguins in the back seat. A police officer stops him and says that he can't drive around with penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with 20 penguins in the back and again, he is stopped by the same police officer who says: "Hey! I thought I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies: "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."

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