Hearing aids

    An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After a short time, he meets the doctor again.

    Doctor: “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.”

    Patient: “Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I’ve changed my will three times!”

    What should I do?

    A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?”

    “In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush.”

    The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. “Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush.”

    “So what’s the problem now?” his Boss snaps.

    “The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!”