Dead hamster

A man brought a hamster to the vet.

He said to the vet: “He won’t move.”

The vet replied: “He’s dead!”

The man said: “No, I don’t believe you.”

So the vet brought a Labrador in but he shook his head.

The man still didn’t believe the vet, so he brought a cat in. The cat shook his head.

“See, I told you,” said the vet . “Well, that’s US$1,250.”

The man said: “US$1,250!”

The vet said: “Yes, you had a lab report and a CAT scan.”

I am sorry

Sarah and Simon were arguing over the breakfast table.

“You’re so stupid,” said Simon.

“That’s enough!” said their dad. “Simon, say sorry to Sarah.”

Simon replied: “I’m sorry you’re so stupid!”

Isn’t that enough?

A: Can I borrow that book of yours “How to Become a Millionaire?”

B: Sure. Here you are.

A: Thanks — but half the pages are missing.

B: What’s the matter? Isn’t half a million enough for you?

Who pays?

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked them to pay.

“I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it.”

“I’ve spent my last buck,” said the deer.

“Then the duck’ll have to pay,” said the skunk.

“Getting here cost me my last scent.”