Speeding biker

There was an old man who always rode his bike to his brother’s house every weekend. It took him two hours and he always arrived by 2 p.m.

One day he tried to make it in one hour. Collapsing on a hill from exhaustion, while sitting there, a Corvette pulled up and asked him if he needed a ride. The man looked at his watch and saw he would be late if not, but there was already a passenger, so he asked how?

“No problem,” said the man in the Corvette, “I’ve got a rope in the back and we’ll tie your bike to the back bumper and you can ride.”

The man said, “Ok!”

They took off and the driver yelled back: “Just yell BEEP BEEP if I’m going to fast.” No problem, the man thought. They came to an Intersection and a Ferrari pulled up, the man’s eyes widened in fright.

Sure enough, the light changed and THEY WERE OFF! Anyway, the guy made it to his brother’s house on time.

A policeman was surprised. He told his colleagues: “Hey guys, the weirdest thing just happened to me. A Ferrari and a Corvette just lost me at over 120 mph on Main Street.”

“What’s so weird about that?” asked the others.

The first said: “There was this old guy on a bike behind them screaming BEEP BEEP and trying to pass!”

Landing in the wrong place

A plane was flying through the jungle when suddenly the engine stalled. The pilot ejected and drifted gently down to land. Unfortunately he landed in a large cooking pot which was gently simmering over a low fire.

All the local tribesmen turned to look at him until the chief, blinking in disbelief, asked, “What’s this flier doing in my soup?”