Boy saving money

    Boy: Dad, would you like to save some money?

    Dad: I certainly would, son. Any suggestions?

    Boy: Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won’t wear my shoes out so fast.

    Pay with a smile

    I hate paying my income tax.

    You should be a good citizen — why don’t you pay with a smile?

    I’d like to but they insist on money!

    What I’m afraid of

    Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be forever in your debt.

    Harry: That’s what I’m afraid of!

    My breakfast

    A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and read from the menu.

    “I’d like one under-cooked egg so that it’s runny, and one over-cooked egg so that it’s tough and hard to eat. I’d also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that it’s impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.”

    “That’s a complicated order, sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.”

    The guest replied sarcastically, “It can’t be that difficult because that’s exactly what you brought me yesterday!”