Over a tee shot

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. This was driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner said: “What the hell is taking so long? Hit the goddamn ball!”

The guy answered: “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Well, hell, man, there’s no way you could hit her from here!”

The least I could do

Four guys were out on the golf course. As one of them was teeing off at the 10th hole, which was next to the highway, they saw a funeral procession go by. Instead of teeing off, the guy removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.

At this point, the other three said, “You know, that was the most touching thing I’ve ever seen.”

And the guy answered: “Well, I was married to her for 15 years. It was the least I could do!”

Hockey injury

Andy came to work one day, limping badly. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened.

Andy replied, “Oh, nothing. It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while.”

Josh said, “Gee, I never knew you played hockey.”

Andy responded: “I don’t. I got the injury last year when I lost US$100 betting on the Stanley Cup play-offs. I put my foot through the television.”