A few drinks

    A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said: “I’m arresting you for driving through three red lights.”

    “Yeah, well, I’m color-blind,” said the motorist.

    “In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,” said the policeman.

    “So what?” said the motorist. “And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,” added the officer.

    “I have always had a lousy sense of direction,” said the motorist with a smile.

    At that point, his wife leaned forward from the back seat and said: “Don’t pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he’s had a few drinks.”

    Doctor and lawyer

    A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was repeatedly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

    After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer: “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”

    “I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”

    The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

    The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

    When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.